Sad news from Minnesota
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment
community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection
and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry
Jack, the California Raisins. Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and
Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a
man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Born and bread in Minnesota,
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled
with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much
of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man,
and was considered a positive roll model for millions. Doughboy is
survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough
and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by
his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.